It is logic like that that allows people to sit in their glamorous homes and not be moved by the plight of the poor. “They deserve it, it is their punishment,” or “they don’t have to live like that, their choices keep them there”. There are over 2000 verses in the New Testament alone dealing with the neglect of and caring for the poor and yet many are never moved to do anything to help those that are in need.

New Years Eve 2009 was the first Blue Moon in 20 years and this is the story of how I was able to make it an especially memorable night for me and Amber, the woman I love. I proposed to her and it was a pretty special adventure for us. It was a very exciting time and of course half of the adventure was in the preparations.

Amber and I had talked about getting married, even in some detail,  for the past couple of months. We both liked the idea of going to Las Vegas for a destination wedding because it seemed to make the most sense financially and because we and our friends have had such great memories traveling there together. Stage one of making this a total surprise was to make sure Amber wouldn't think I had a ring for her. As we talked about the possibility of getting married I mentioned that I'd been thinking of asking my mother for my grandmother's engagement ring.  I told Amber that my mother was very sentimental about the ring and might not like the idea of letting me have it for our engagement, but that we should wait to see if my mother would "approve" of her when we went to visit my family this February. Amber seemed fine with it and never gave it much more thought. Secretly I had already asked my mother, gotten her approval, and taken the ring to the jeweler to have it freshened up in a new setting so that it would be more sturdy and durable for Amber, yet keep the mythos of the ring. (She's a stylist and is rough on her hands due to the nature of the job.)

Next on my agenda was trying to make sure that we would have a fun, light hearted, yet memorable night. I was a little nervous as to how I would plan a fun packed evening without giving away the fact that it was going to turn into the night of my proposal. A few months ahead I started talking about how I really wanted to make a real date night for Amber and I the  next time I visited. (Amber and I live 9 hours away currently) Although we had gone out many times together, we had never in my opinion, had a real "great date night".  I intended to fix this, I told her.  She agreed to let me plan a "great date" for us and I told her our plans were for New Years Eve.

I talked with several close friends before the date and asked their advice and one piece of advice stuck with me the most. 'Plan the night, but not the proposal, just let it happen at a moment that is really fun and reflective of your relationship'. This really made sense to me and I kept it in mind as I planned the evening and planned on looking for the most opportune time to "pop the question".

The evening started out with us going to Headwaters Park to go ice skating. Walking in and finding that it was 'cash only' and that I had none seemed to be just the perfect start I was hoping for. We headed back to the car and were off to an ATM to get some green. Having paid, we headed out to get our skates and our bruises. Surprisingly neither of us ever fell as we talked about some of our favorite and most memorable times over the past year. Not wanting to press our luck and end up on our keesters, we headed out to our second stop of three for the evening.

Fort Wayne's Botanical Gardens was our next stop. Inside there were Christmas displays, a tropical display, and a southwestern display. As we walked through we talked about dreams for the future and what kinds of stories we'd like to be able to tell in the future. Outside there were some metal artwork displays along with a courtyard full of Christmas decorations. Music was playing and the the lights danced along to the music. I noticed that it was snowing and the the courtyard was covered with snow and that  it was beautiful. I thought that maybe this would be the time. What happened next only confirmed my suspicions. Amber busted out doing some goofy dances that were references to some of our favorite TV shows. (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia & Arrested Development) This had to be the moment. It was silly and funny and yet beautiful. Those are definitely words most would use to describe our relationship.

Pulling each other close and laughing hysterically I told Amber that unlike my past, this relationship seemed to make more sense than any other.  She had no idea what I was really saying. I told her that I wanted us to share lots of amazing, beautiful and meaningful stories together. She still had no idea what I was getting at. Hands shaking I took the ring from my pocket and said "There is only one way to make sure that this night is one of those stories..."  Dropping to one knee I held the ring and her hand and continued, "and that's if I ask you to marry me."

At this point Amber was in a state of disbelief, excitement, shock, and confusion. She looked at me and said, "Are you serious? Is this real?" Eventually she gave me the answer I was looking for and with enthusiasm said "Yes! Please get up!" After several minutes of explaining how I had pulled all this off without her knowing we headed out to dinner at Eddie Merlot's and then to our close friend's house for a cozy New Year's Eve party.

So that's how it happened, as best as I can remember at least. Amber says she never heard me ask her to marry her and didn't see the ring until I stood up, but this is my side of the story and I'm sticking to it. Sorry that this entry is a little sappy compared to most, but I figured it was a special occasion and that it would prove to be helpful to keep the memory alive if written down to share with others. May we all enjoy moments that only come "once in a blue moon" a little more often.

Top 10: New Year's Resolutions All Men Should Make.

"Get behind me, Satan!" (Jesus) said. "You do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men."

Imagine having a conversation with Jesus and your friends. In this conversation, as you share your thoughts and opinions, Jesus looks at you and says that God the father is at work in your life and that the Holy Spirit has plans to use you greatly for the Kingdom of God. What a moment that would be. I think it would be quite natural to feel a real sense of pride and honor that you are where God wants you to be, in an area of spiritual growth and maturity. Now imagine your surprise when only a few minutes later as you continue to share your “wisdom and insight” Jesus turns to you and calls you the father of lies and that you are a stumbling block to him. Wow. What a turn around.

When it comes to the hot topics of our day, I believe it is very easy for us to act like Peter. In some ways our faith may be very mature and God is pleased with us as we journey with Him. In these moments it is very natural to be proud and honored for the growth that the Spirit has provided in our lives. It’s easy to identify with this part of Peter’s story, but the other part of the story is one that is not so easily understood or realized. Even in our mature faith, is it possible that we have in mind the things of men and not of God? Are there areas of our lives and faith that have been polluted over time with the themes of men: power, control, and arrogance instead of the themes of the Kingdom: service, love, and humility?

I continue to realize that there is nothing in life that is as black and white as when I was a youth. The world of comic books are so appealing to so many people because they allow us to have a clearly defined “evil” that is readily identified and easy to attack. The journey of faith is one that keeps us humble and always seeking to be where God is encouraging us as being a “Rock” and not as being “the Devil”. May we have eyes to see and courage to admit when we’ve been too quick to make judgments and form opinions that might not have the things of God truly at heart.

During the youth gathering, it was estimated that all the service work we would do over our short time together, would be more than could be accomplished in 3 years with the current amount of service work that is being put in. I hope that in my community, the actions of the people of faith can really begin to promote the stereotype that “those Christians” really want to make a difference and help our neighbors. May God’s grace, peace, mercy and love be seen in us today.

 “Our government is supposed to be working for us, we are not to be working for our government. It's our will to be imposed on them.” – Sarah Palin, Alaskan Governor.

I hear this a lot on conservative talk shows and television lately. What exactly are people trying to say by this? I believe it is an assumption that what they, conservatives, believe should be held in the highest regard above others. An assumption that what the government is doing is NOT representing it’s people.

When we say that government should be working for us it does not mean that government should do whatever it is that we personally believe. That’s not how democracy works. Democracy is not based on one person or one groups opinion, but on the diverse opinions of all of us brought together. Our government is not some freakish monster, it is people. People that are representing our thoughts an opinions. Feel like they aren’t representing you well? Get out and vote or contact your representatives. The government is working for us. Sorry if your opinion is not in the majority. 

First, I bought a pair of shoes that reminded me of him. Chuck Taylors. I was already considering buying a pair for the summer, but knew this would be a way for me to remember him daily as i got dressed and to say a prayer for his family, our friends, and to seek ways to honor his memory that day. 

Second was to listen to music that reminded me of him, and to check out music that I remember him wanting me to listen to. Ben was a huge Muse fan and so I've listened to more of their music. I'm also very excited  that Muse will be opening for U2 when i see them in concert in October in Atlanta. I look forward to enjoying my favorite band and his together in one great night of music. 

Last has been watching South Park. Although I have found bits and pieces of South Park funny in the past, I've also found it to be in bad taste from time to time and so never really became a fan. One of the things that I remember Schone doing was impersonations of characters from the show. In particular Cartman and Jimmy were two that he could really get me laughing with. I watched the episode called Krazy Kripples the other day and smiled the whole way through. It was like hearing Ben sitting next to me again, doing his impression of Jimmy.

I know people deal with grief in many different ways and with much different timing. Hopefully in some way this can encourage all who have lost loved ones to find ways to remember with fondness the people who have left us too soon.

Tonight is the first night of my summer project. I'm going to try to write a book. Since I enjoy writing I've talked about writing a book for some time. Although it has been a serious consideration, i've never come close to putting forth any real effort.  I've joked about the different books I'd like to write and their wonderful titles. Titles like 101 things a youth director should never say to their students, How to be cool and still be a Christian, and I'll stop saying it when you stop laughing. 

This past April I was having a conversation with a close friend of mine about sexual relationships and dating and made a comment about wanting to write a book about the subject and he actually challenged me to do it. Of course i don't know the first thing about writing a book so i just smiled and continued. He said that he was serious and that i should just try to write for an hour on the topic every night and see what i have at the end of the summer. Not to be concerned about whether or not the subject matter was the same from night to night or not, just try to get down thoughts and opinions about the subject and then at the end of the summer, see what I have. I've decided to give it a shot. 

Now along with blogging and reading and running, i'll be attempting to capture all the wisdom, foolishness, humor, and seriousness that i have on the subject of dating and sexuality. This should be interesting.